We often find ourselves walking on eggshells while having conversations about the sexual needs of women, this creates an environment where women aren’t fully aware of the true potential of sex and its need that goes beyond pleasure.
Sex can not only help make an intimate connection with your partner, but it can also significantly help improve your heart health and boost immunity.
Some women find it difficult to navigate their sexual desires as they struggle with low libido, we have compiled a guide to help you through this and find the right pace in the bedroom by answering questions such as
- Why is sex so important for women?
- Health benefits of sex
- Tips for healthy sex life for women
Understanding the relationship of your body with your desires can help bridge the gap between nervousness and pleasure. Let’s dive into the important question.
Why is sex so important for women?
It is an essential part of a relationship as it helps you connect with your partner both mentally and physically. It also helps the body produce Oxytocin known as the “feel good” hormone that keeps you energetic, vibrant, and happy.
Studies have found that there’s a higher level of oxytocin produced during orgasm or ejaculation. There’s a complex role of oxytocin in regard to sexual fantasies and thoughts that are relevant to create sexual desires that further help trigger genital and sexual arousal. (1)
Sex for women goes beyond just love, and reproduction or pleasure. It is a great tool to fight stress and boredom between partners and it also helps cure a migraine!
Sex doesn’t necessarily result in orgasm for women, a study has shown that women reach orgasm about 31-40% of the time. In contrast, women that have assisted intercourse (clitoral simulation was included) have orgasmed about 51-60% of the time, which is far more than the ones with unassisted intercourse (clitoral simulation was excluded) orgasmed about 21-30% of the time. (2)
This makes it important for women to create more dialogues with their partners to achieve orgasms and make it a more memorable experience.
Health Benefits of Sex for Females
Lowers stress
Women’s health can be severely affected by stress which can lead to heart disease. Sex is a great tool to relieve stress, as the brain’s pleasure centers are hit with dopamine while the levels of stress hormones drop.
A study has found that stressful days can increase the probability of having sex which can subsequently result in stress relief for both partners in a satisfying relationship. This creates emphasis on the importance of sex in regulating the emotional and psychological well-being of those in satisfied relationships. (3)
Boosts your immune system
A study was conducted with 16,000 participants aged >18 years from 33 different countries (survey-based) during COVID-19 to understand the link between sex with immunity.
It was found that sex played a protective part in COVID-19 infection despite the age of the person or sexual behavior. The increased sexual activity resulted in a boost of immunity and lowered the incidences of infection among those who had sex more than 3 times a month compared to those who had sex less than 3 times a month (4)
Lowers your blood pressure
High blood pressure can be fatal and can lead to complications in cardiovascular health. Research has shown that high blood pressure can lead to dysfunction in sexual activities and impact female orgasms (5)
However, sex is a great stress buster and can help provide lower systolic blood pressure readings.
Improves cardiovascular health
Sex and its health benefits are closely linked. One study has found that a satisfying sex life can potentially reduce the risk of hypertension and other problems.
Low blood pressure and a happy mind can also be good for your heart health.
You sleep better
Sex can drastically improve your sleep patterns and help relieve insomnia. Post-sex hormones that promote relaxation are released to help you get comfortable at bedtime.
Increased libido
High libido/sex drive is linked with improved pain resistance and self-esteem.
It increases your desire for your partner and in turn, forms a more intimate bond in the relationship.
Works your pelvic floor
Sex can improve your pelvic floor muscles which are responsible for controlling the flow of urine, which become weak over time with age or pregnancy.
Sex provides a good workout that helps elevate it.
Protects your brain
A study has found that women who are sexually active in the older part of their age have better cognitive functioning than those who don’t. (6).
Researchers measured women’s ability to recall words and adjusted the results accordingly to account for factors such as physical activity levels and depression. Sexually active people performed much better on the given test.
Burns calories
You burn an estimated five calories per minute- which is still a tiny bit helpful.
Tips for healthy sex life for women
To Know What You Like and Dislike in the Bedroom
Sex is about the pleasure of both parties involved; hence you need to have a clear understanding of what feels good, what turns you on and puts you off, the foreplay you need to reach arousal, and the positions you like.
This of course cannot be figured out through reading or researching but rather through trial and error. The key to the beginning is to get yourself comfortable with your partner then you can start by sharing the fantasies you have as bricks to build your foreplay on.
Your language can also help stimulate arousal and being open about your desires will help you find your likes and dislikes in the bedroom.
Each experience is unique in itself but knowing your basic wants can help you achieve satisfaction each time.
Masturbating also helps women visualize more vividly what they want and that can be more sexually empowering.
The Ability to Focus on the Moment and Tune Out the Noise
Women are constantly multi-tasking, and it can cause distraction in the bedroom taking you out of the moment and making the whole experience less memorable. It is important that you are focused in the moment and get yourself to a relaxed state where the brain is deactivated, and you can experience arousal and orgasm.
There’s a study published that stated women found significant improvements in their sexual desire and overall sexual function along with a reduction in sex-related distress after eight sessions of a mindfulness program (7)
Another study claimed that women who meditated scored higher measures of sexual function and desire. (8)
If you find yourself being unable to focus then you can try fantasizing as a tool to help your brain redirect its energy to the task at hand, it will help you get into a deeper state of arousal and achieve a satisfying finish.
Positive Body Image and Sexual Self-Confidence
Women tend to face challenges with sex when they are not feeling good about their bodies.
A study has shown that body image that includes physical cognition, weight concern, sexual attractiveness, and thoughts about the body during intercourse can predict sexual satisfaction for women. (9)
As per another study, it was found that frequency of exercise and physical fitness can enhance the energy levels of both partners and make them feel good about themselves. (11)
People that feel good about themselves may consider themselves to be more desirable and may perform better sexually. For both men and women body image can be an affecting factor, body positivity can boost confidence.
It is important to remember that your partner isn’t focused on your extra kilos or your stretch marks when you are in bed, a perfect body isn’t needed to be able to enjoy sex. In a deep state of arousal, your partner is focused on the experience rather than your body.
Trust and Emotional Security in Your Relationship
It’s hard to focus or create a bond when you are feeling disconnected from your partner or are worried about fidelity.
When you have doubts about your significant other it is important that you address them and open a dialogue, avoiding confrontation will only create distance and unsatisfactory sexual encounters.
To enjoy the sexual aspect of your relationship you need to make sure you are secure on all fronts. Conversations lead to solutions and help produce results.
To Know Your Partner’s Sexual Health Status
It is an uncomfortable question to confront your partner with, but it is very crucial that you always ask them about their STD tests, their previous partners, or birth control.
You can positively approach the situation and create a safe and comfortable environment for your partner to open up. If your partner refuses to share this critical health information, then they may just not be the right person for you.
Transparency about your partner’s sexual health status will save you from severe health issues in the future.
The Right Products to Make Sex More Comfortable
Foreplay may help you lubricate naturally, but if you struggle with it there are always options to make the activity seamless for both partners.
It is common to experience vaginal dryness at a certain age, even younger women tend to struggle with it. It is important that you not feel insecure about it but rather utilize tools to make the experience better by using a lube.
You can choose the one you are comfortable with and what suits your body, there are natural water-based options that can be safe for people with allergies.
Using a vibrator will also help a woman learn about her needs and responses that can help show her partner what she likes.
Maintain physical affection
If you are not in the mood for sex, you can still maintain physical affection by cuddling or kissing. This helps create a safe environment for your partner and communicates that you are here for them.
It is also essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.
Practice touching
It is important for arousal that your partner knows how to touch you and where to touch you right. You can get help from a sex therapist or there are several self-help books and educational videos that can help you navigate through this.
Try different positions
It is always good to spice things up to keep the romance going. Try to find sexual positions that you are both comfortable in to create excitement.
Write down your fantasies
This is a good way to account for what turns you and your partner on. If you have a fantasy that you would like to act upon, share it with your partner, this is especially helpful for people with a low drive.
Do Kegel exercises.
Pelvic floor muscle exercises are a great way to improve sexual fitness for both men and women.
You can do these exercises by tightening the muscle you would use if you were trying to hold your urine midstream. Hold the contraction between intervals of two or three seconds and release and repeat it 10 times.
You can do it while sitting at your desk, standing, or driving practically anywhere! Talk to your sex therapist to know more detailed exercises and tools to help you.
Try to relax
To calm your nerves before sex, try to do activities that soothe your mind such as watching a movie, going for dinner, or playing games.
You can also try relaxation techniques such as yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
Don’t give up
If these tips don’t work out for you, don’t give up! There are plenty of tools medically that can be provided by your doctor to help you identify the problem and receive effective treatments.
A sex therapist can also help you elevate your sex life and create a better bond between you and your partner.
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